The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey has sold over 25 million copies in 40 languages worldwide. Considering the average book sells about 10,000 copies , that’s a lot of books. Clearly, Dr. Covey’s book struck a chord with readers. It was also transformational in my life.
As the title suggests, the book goes through 7 specific habits found in effective people. Here are the habits:
Today, I want to briefly touch on Habit #2 (Begin with the End in Mind) and help you put together a personal mission statement.
First, let’s do a brief exercise. If possible, find a place where you can read this next section without a lot of distractions. I want you to be able to free your mind and focus.
If there is something on your mind, try to put it aside for 5 minutes to invest in yourself.
In your mind, visualize being in a vehicle driving to the funeral of a loved one. You arrive at the funeral location and you see many of your family and friends there. You walk into the building where the funeral is taking place and you see the beautiful flowers and hear the soft organ music playing in the background. You can sense and feel the shared sense of loss in the room, but you can also sense the collective spirit of celebration for a life well lived.
As you sit down to wait for the service to begin, you look down at the program in your hand and come face to face with your own picture on the front. This is your funeral, 10 years from today. All of these friends and family members have come to celebrate your life and reflect on you.
As you read through the program, you notice there will be four speakers.
The first speaker will come from your family. They will talk about the type of person you were as a father or mother, son or daughter, brother or sister, husband or wife.
The second speaker will represent your closest friends. This person will talk about what it meant to be your friend and how you impacted their life.
The third speaker will represent your work colleagues. They will talk about your contributions in the workplace and what it was like to work with you over the years.
Finally, the fourth speaker will be from your community. They will talk about the impact you had on your church or the local area.
Now take a moment to think deeply about the following questions and continue to visualize this scenario.
When the first speaker (the family member) rises to give your eulogy, what would you want them to say about you as a family member?
What are some words you hope they would use to describe you as a father, mother, husband, or wife?
How do you want your family to describe you as a son or daughter or cousin?
For a close friend of mine doing this exercise, he thought of words like “loving, compassionate, passionate, intentional.” There is no right answer to these questions, just what resonates most deeply for you. This exercise is deeply personal.
Think about the second speaker (your friend), what would you like them to say about you?
What types of stories would you like them to tell about your friendship and your impact?
Next, consider the third speaker (your work colleague), how would you like them to describe you in the workplace?
Finally, visualize the fourth and final speaker (a member of your community). This is someone who knew you and is there to describe your character and service to the community. What would you like them to say?
I find these four speakers (adapted from Dr. Covey’s book) to be a helpful way to think through many of the most significant relationships in our life, but feel free to visualize other key relationships and what you hope they would say about you.
Now, take a few minutes to jot down some of your answers to these questions. If you took this exercise seriously, you are tapping into your deepest values in life. Pay attention.
In a world of busyness and easy access to everyone else’s thoughts and activities it can be difficult to discern what is most important to you. That’s why it is so important to develop a personal mission statement.
A personal mission statement should include two key components:
When doing a personal mission statement, Dr. Covey encourages readers to fully tap into their left brain (the logical/verbal part of the brain) and right brain (feelings and creative side of the brain) thinking.
I recommend listing out (left brain) the most important roles you have in your life. Then, visualize who you want to be and what the key contributions you want to make in that role. This helps you ensure your personal mission statement integrates all of who you are and the key roles you fulfill.
It is also worth considering your “center,” as Dr. Covey puts it. Your center might be your spouse, family, work, money, possessions, faith, or something else that is at the core of who you are and the mark your hope to leave on the world. For me, it’s my faith and desire to follow Jesus. That is my center, but your center might be different. As you can see below, my center is a consistent thread woven throughout my personal mission statement.
Here is an example of a personal mission statement (partly derived from my own statement):
My personal mission is to follow Jesus and to love and serve those around me.
To fulfill this mission:
I abide: I pray, read the Bible, meditate, and pursue a relationship with God first, knowing that my highest contribution will flow from this central relationship.
I serve: Life is not about me. I am here to serve. My life will be measured by how much I serve others and use the gifts, talents, and resources I have been given. To whom much is given, much is required. I serve the least of these because every life has infinite worth.
I inspire: I will relentlessly help others become the type of person and leader that God created them to be. Each person is valuable in God’s eyes, and I am a vessel to help them reach their God-given potential and make their unique contribution to the world.
I have integrity: My yes is my yes and my no is my no. When I make a commitment, I follow through. If I can’t follow through on a commitment, I don’t make it. I am honest and above reproach. I strive to be better on the inside than what is seen on the outside. I put myself under God’s authority and the authority of wise mentors and leaders.
These roles are key in achieving my mission:
Husband: I love my wife in the specific ways I know she feels most loved. I pursue her, sacrifice for her, and steward her heart with all my strength and ability. I help her fulfill God’s desire for her life. I am accountable to God for how well I steward her heart.
Father: I point my children to a loving Heavenly Father who can meet their every need. I lead by example in all that I do, knowing more is caught than taught. I discipline them in love to help them become service-oriented adults. They are a gift from God, and I am responsible for leading them well and being a good steward of their hearts. I am accountable to God for how well I steward their hearts.
Son: I honor my parents by being in relationship with them and giving my full effort to live out the investments they made in me. I honor them by living in an honorable way privately and publicly.
Army Officer: I serve my country because I love my country and know that it is a privilege and gift to be born in the United States. I know that freedom is not free and that good people must sacrifice to maintain our freedom. Service is not about me.
Teacher: I am a lifelong learner and love sharing my experiences and lessons learned with others in hopes that they will benefit and be able to grow in their own journey. This is part of stewardship. I boldly pursue ways to teach in innovative ways through my podcast, writing, speaking, and one-on-one relationships.
Neighbor/Friend: I deeply value community because Jesus valued it and calls us into it. I intentionally surround myself with positive people and pour into others. I create space for conversations and relationship building.
Reflecting on the funeral exercise, set aside some time to write out your personal mission statement. It will bring clarity to your life and save you time and energy by avoiding those pursuits and relationships that are not in line with your mission. With your personal mission statement written out, it will be easier to say yes to the important and no to those items in your life that don’t align with your deepest values. This eliminates many of those life regrets that come from simply following the crowd.
Being a person on mission also makes you more attractive to others. Designer, artist, and consultant Loretta Staples said, “If you are clear with what you want, the world responds with clarity.” I agree.
Once you’ve put together your life mission, share it with some of your closest friends or family members. Go over it with someone you trust and explain your heart behind it. The goal behind sharing it is not so much to get feedback–because this is deeply personal–but to force yourself to articulate your deepest desires to someone you trust.
Feel free to share it with me. I’d be honored to hear about your life mission.
Finally, your personal mission statement may evolve some over time. Feel free to revisit it as you mature and add roles in your life.
It’s an honor to be on this journey with you. Remember that life is short. Let’s go make it count!
